Glacialiphobia
by Rosiesan
Summary: Ryou's determined to help Bakura get over his deepest, darkest fear. But can Ryou really rid his yami of of his crippling Phobia? Yaoi- BR


AN: Hey! Here's something new for you all. It was written for Haxx0r Corp's First Fanfiction Challenge, though I was halfway through before I realized it didn't meet all of the conditions. I'm posting it here anyway because, well, it's just damned funny!

Disclaimer: No leather wearing bishies were harmed during the making of this fic, well, sort of, at least. None of them are mine either. So there.

****

**Phobia**

"No."

"Oh, come on Bakura! Just a little bit! It's really good!"

"No."

"Please? For me? Please, please, please?"

"No."

"But _why_? How can you not like it?"

There was silence as Bakura glared at his pleading Hikari, throwing every bit of malice he had into it. Ryou remained unfazed, however. If anything, he seemed more determined than before.

Pressing his lips together in an expression that clearly stated no nonsense would be tolerated, he spooned a generous amount out of the carton.

"Bakura."

"No."

Ryou moved the spoon towards his Yami. Bakura, on his part, shuddered and turned away.

"You know," Ryou exclaimed, trying vainly to follow his Yami with the spoon, "I'd stop if you'd just explain yourself. Come on Bakura. You have to taste this!"

Bakura rounded on Ryou suddenly, his expression dangerous. Ryou caught the sound of a low growl and the glint in Bakura's eye was unmistakable.

"Ryou," he stated, matter-of-factly, his voice low, "if you come another step closer with that stuff, I swear on the Ring that I'll chain you up in the basement and leave you there."

Ryou paused. As appealing as that sounded (Ryou nearly salivated at the thought), it would bring him no nearer to achieving his noble goal…

After a moment of contemplation, looking from the spoon in his hands to his Yami and back again, he shrugged, eating the contents himself with a sigh, then went up to his room to finish his homework.

This would be harder than he thought.

* * *

"Ice-cream? Bakura's afraid of ice-cream?!" Yugi's voice was incredulous as he handed Ryou a can of coke.

Ryou's eyes widened and he looked around warily. Yugi caught the look and shook his head. "Don't worry, Yami's out. He'd never let me get to the coke if he was home." Yugi furrowed his brow. "He seems to think I have some sort of problem handling caffeine." He rolled his eyes and took a sip. "Honestly…"

Ryou nodded in understanding. "I know what you mean. Bakura's the same."

"Anyway," Yugi exclaimed, sitting back on the sofa, "I won't tell Yami, you don't have to worry."

Ryou shot him a grateful look. "Thanks. I just wish I knew what to do, though. I mean, I can't think of any reason why ice-cream would bother him so much. I think he mentioned something about how cold and gooey it is and the way it drips and…" Ryou shrugged. "He thinks it's unnatural, anything edible being that cold. It probably has something to do with him coming from the desert… The worst thing is, is that he doesn't realize what he's missing out on!" Ryou pouted in affront.

Yugi shook his head. "Have you tried force-feeding?"

Ryou nodded glumly. "He won't let me near him if I'm even thinking the words."

"Well, what about locking him in the basement without anything to eat except-" Ryou cut him off.

"I tried that. He threatened to gnaw his own arm off…"

"You could always hide it in his food."

"It melted. I probably shouldn't have put it in the soup…"

The pair fell silent, pondering.

It was then that Yugi thought of a brilliant plan. Brilliant, but evil. It might have been that Yami was beginning to rub off on him, it might have been the desperation in his good friend's eyes, it might have just been the caffeine (the last being the most probable), but it was a good idea, and when he told Ryou about his master-plan, the white-haired youth couldn't have been more thrilled.

"It's perfect! How'd you ever come up with it?"

Yugi gave his friend a secretive smile. "You learn a couple of things when you have a five thousand year old pharaoh for a soul-mate."

They couldn't help the maniacal laughter that overtook them both and it was in a state of mad hysteria that Yami found them when he walked in the door five minutes later.

"Yugi! I thought I told you to stay _away_ from the caffeine!"

* * *

Ryou tip-toed down the hallway and peered around the corner into the kitchen. It was clear. Tip-toeing back in the opposite direction, he passed by the door to Bakura's basement. Loud snores could be heard coming from below. Tentatively, Ryou opened up the mind-link he shared with his Yami.

/Bakura?/

SNORE.

Smirking, Ryou closed his thoughts off. It wouldn't do to have Bakura awake before his time…

* * *

Everything was set, Ryou noted with approval, looking around the room. He'd done a good job getting everything ready. He slowly climbed onto Bakura's bed, moving forward carefully before straddling his Yami's waist. Bakura continued to snore on, unaware that he was in mortal peril. Reaching to his left, Ryou grabbed the container of chocolate ice-cream he'd bought especially for the occasion and an ice-cream-scooper. He scooped a generous amount of the cold confection and then… unceremoniously dumped the contents onto Bakura's bare chest.

"YEEEAAAOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!"

The bed jerked as Bakura jumped and struggled impulsively to get the gooey mixture off of himself. But to no avail. His hands were tied to the metal bars of the headboard. His legs were restrained as well. All Bakura succeeded in doing was getting even more of himself covered in chocolate ice-cream.

Ryou watched on through his Yami's suffering, an evil smirk plastered on his face. Bakura, finally noticing this paused long enough to look afraid. Very afraid.

"Ryou," he said slowly, his breath hitching in his chest from the cold, the drowsiness slowly disappearing from his eyes. "What did you do?"

"Do?" Ryou asked innocently. "What makes you think I did anything?"

Bakura snorted and then wriggled uncomfortably as some ice-cream dripped down his side.

"What- what is this stuff?"

"Why, Kura!" Ryou exclaimed, seemingly offended. "Don't you like ice-cream?"

Bakura's eyes widened in horror and he jerked spasmodically, almost throwing Ryou off of him. "GET IT OFF!" he yelled, panicking. "GET IT OFF!!!"

Ryou grinned. "I was hoping you'd say that." He then proceeded to lick Bakura clean.

Bakura, on his part, was temporarily shocked out of his fear as he felt Ryou's small tongue darting everywhere, a little pin-prick of heat through the extreme cold of the ice-cream, making him- making him…

"Ryou…" he groaned, as his Hikari's administrations began to take effect. His breath hitched again, though this time for a reason completely other than the cold.

By the time Ryou was through, Bakura was straining so tightly at his bonds, that Ryou was surprised the rope hadn't snapped.

Ryou sat back, a look of smug satisfaction adorning his features. "Hmmm," he wondered out loud, taunting Bakura, "should I untie you?"

Bakura groaned once again, though this time, there was a hint of a growl in it. The frustrated grave-robber strained even harder at the ropes binding him.

Ryou, unable to keep his Yami waiting any longer shrugged and leaned forward, kissing Bakura fully, letting his tongue roam free. His mouth was still cold, he knew and when Ryou pulled away, he made sure to stay close enough for Bakura to feel his breath on his lips.

Bakura's eyes were half-closed, giving him a drugged look, and when he spoke, his voice was raspy.

"You taste like chocolate."

Ryou grinned reaching up to one of the ropes.

"That would be the ice-cream."

With that, he let Bakura loose.

* * *

"Ryou? Ryou?"

A voice nudged at the edge of Ryou's awareness. No, wait… It was a hand nudging his shoulder, shaking him lightly and Bakura's voice.

"Hmmf, gerroff, sleepy…"

"Ryou!" More shaking, the voice more urgent.

"N-nani?" Ryou asked in exasperation, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

"We're out of ice-cream."

Ryou shook his head, trying to rid himself of his grogginess . "What?"

"The ice-cream, Ryou, it's all gone."

"So?"

"Go to the store and get some more. I want ice-cream."

Ryou stared at Bakura incredulously before settling back in his Yami's bed, pulling the covers tightly around him.

Perhaps getting Bakura over his phobia hadn't been one of the best ideas…

END


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